i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
