I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
