"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize