I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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