Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
