we're blogging at a bar
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
