i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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