She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize