just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
