how can u be prego again
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize