i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
