Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
