Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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