That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
