covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
