Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
