i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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