Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
