Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
