what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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