oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
