We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
