508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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