when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So vagazzling was a success
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize