If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
