oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
