He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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