After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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