I hate your face
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
