hell yes lets make some ravioli
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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