Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
