You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
