Do you still have your period?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
