i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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