I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
