If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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