Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
