We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
