Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I didn't notice because vodka
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
