Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
