he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
