We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
