bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My pussy is not your playground.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
