The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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