I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Terrible idea I love it
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
