his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
