Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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