I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
