my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
