Dual....:-)
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Randomize
