Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
