Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
