You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
And then my night got REAL pukey
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
