We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
