No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
