Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
