what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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