I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
