Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
