we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
